| finally! |
[04 Jun 2007|03:06pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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i woke up and weighed myself and to my suprise.. im at 102! i only have 4 more lbs til i reach my final GW 98lbs! thanks for all the support everyone!
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| lies girl! |
[20 Nov 2006|10:06am] |
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Somtimes when im being sexual with chad i think weird things.. Like what am i doing. And like is thiss really the kind of guy that i want to be with. Its weird cause i really love his personality but hes getting a little too needy for me. I like to have time that i spend to myself. Maybe that will be different when im not at school. Then i will have time to go to the gym. I am so excited. Im going to get movies for my psp and im going to bring them to watch while im on the ollicptical machine. That would be tight. I bet i would get all toned up and skinny sexy! Im going to work hard. I want to be perfect by chrisstmas :] my eyes feel all fucked up right now. Like i feel like i have the spins but i havnt drank.. I just smoked. Im all stoney tho :] hehe. Its my last day! I got to be! You know i say i want to quit smoking but really i dont think i do. I love smoking. I dont think that i will ever quit smoking! Its too awsome. Ah.. Chads awsome! Hehe. He just text me! Byyye!
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| tips |
[05 Nov 2006|03:40am] |
STOP HUNGER
Have a hot drink - green tea, fruit tea. Or for something more filling, coffee (with sweetners), tea, bouillon, bovril, low fat hot chocolate.
- Have some frozen grapes.
- Down a bottle of water - or more than one, until you feel bloated and a little queasy.
- Take fibre pills (from any Holland and Barrett) - they fill your stomach up AND help digestion.
- Look at live journal and other pro ana/mia sites
- Look at some thinspo pics - ones that work for YOU - favourite celeb, real girls, whatever. Google images is useful.
- Stand naked in front of your mirror, and examine every part of your body
- Remember the BUZZ you get after you resist the initial urge - I am powerful.
- Look in/add to your Thinspo journal. Cut out pics/recipes/exercise tips from magazines, stick them in. Think of some under 100cal meal ideas, add quotes, Add to your calories list some rarer fruit/veg you might try!
- Imagine how great you'll feel when you hit your next target weight... Nothing compares to that.
- Do 100 crunches or leg lifts. Takes the appetite away immediately if you put effort into them.
- Have a shower
- Spray yourself copiously with your favourite strong perfume - somehow has an effect on your appetite, don't know why!
- Take pictures of yourself on your mobile phone. Imagine you were going to send it to someone you fancy - pose, pout - takes your mind away from food and onto being sexy.
- Style your hair as if you were going out - get out the curlers/straightners/mousse/wax.
- Do your nails - soak, cut cuticles, use hand cream, file and paint.
- Dress up as if you were going out on a massive night out. Skirt, tight top, do your hair and make up. Switches your brain to "sexy" mode and off crappy food
- The rubber band on the wrist trick - wear a rubber band and snap it on yourself every time you feel the urge to binge. Ouch!
- Chew mint gum.
- Have a Rennies (indegestion tablet/chewy sweet). Tastes minty AND neutralises stomach acid so your stomach will stop growling!
- Brush your teeth for as long as it takes. Then use a mouthwash after. If you still have the urge, do it again.
- Text your boyfriend/friend/mum/someone. Hopefully you'll get into a text conversation and have to keep replying, thus distracting you.
- Phone someone. As above.
- Listen to your special ana playlist if you have one on your stereo/ipod. Courage by superchick, creep by radiohead, anas song by silverchair.... it'll put you right off food (and probably into melancholy - sorry!)
- Listen to or read any diet/food related things you have. E.g. Anorexia related books, Self help cds...etc!
- Remind yourself how much power and self control you have in comparison to your friends. You can say no. They can't. You are strong. They aren't.
- Think about how far you have come already. All that effort you put in, all that time you starved. Why would you ruin that?
- Do some homework/coursework/uni work/job related work/ any work!
- Think of the ultimate BUZZ you will get being the skinny one in your group of friends. Think how your lad mates will describe you - "oh shes the one with the hot body/ the thin one".... What a feeling that will be.
- Think how much more guys (or girls, whatever your preference) will look at you with figure hugging clothes on and the confidence. They will WANT you.
- If you just HAVE to eat (dizziness/whatever) Then eat a carrot or some celery or even an apple. Close your eyes when you go in the fridge though so you don't see the "binge" food. Then get the hell out of the kitchen.
- Clean the toilet or empty the bin. In extreme situations, even RUMMAGE in the bin with your hands - the smell, touching soggy food - makes me feel like hurling, and puts me right off food. Eww.
- Clean your face with make up remover/whatever you use and apply your moisturiser. Nice smell and supresses appetite (well it does for me!)
- Don't actively think of the food you want to binge on - makes it 5x harder. Think of something else, anything.
- Count to 100 out loud. Should have passed by then.
- Put some flavouring you HATE on your tongue. I hate black pepper, so i lick some and it puts me right off.
- Seriously consider the consequences. In my personal case, I had one week where I binged and purged for a full week. I did exercise every single day too. I did not lose a pound. Just goes to show how bingeing then purgeing is less effective! Think of your worst experience.
- Chant "skinny" or "flat stomach" out loud. Sounds loony, but makes you think twice. Just make sure no ones listening ;)
- Remind yourself of your incentive once you reach your first/second goal. Maybe yours is a holiday? A spray tan? A new hair style? My personal one is getting my belly button pierced again - like I used to have when I was skinny.
- Sit down in your bedroom / away from food. Do NOT move until your craving has gone. Read or watch tv. In my case, wandering around usually leads to a dash to the fridge before my mind can even consider what I'm doing.
- Have a can of diet coke / coke zero. THe bubbles do bloat but they also fill you up for no calories. Sweet cravings will be sated. You'll feel full.
- Walk to the shop and buy a girls magazine and a diet coke.
- If you drive, go for a drive. Have a no eating destination in mind. Your Grandmas house, a clothes shop, a car wash...wherever! Somewhere without food!
- Tidy your room or house. Dust, vacuum, spray smelly stuff, reorder clothes into colour category, sort out shoes, reorder books...anything! Burns cals too!
- If you smoke, have a cigarette. (DONT start smoking though, if you already dont.)
- Write a list or time schedule. This works for me because Im slightly obsessive about lists and timetables! List of things to do tomorrow (Get up 9.00, exercise 9.30-10.30, shower 10.30 etc), a shopping list (unless the writing down of food will bother you), a clothes shopping list, a christmas list, a list of work to do....any lists!! This is particularly useful for those of you who are a bit neurotic like me ;)
- Make a new Ipod playlist on your Ipod. "Exercise", "Chilling", "Pre going out" "party" "favourites" "Sad"....you get the point!
- Go and put some english mustard or chilli powder on your tongue - hot hot hot!
- Read this list (or your journal list) and pick 3 things to do.
- Make your own list that works for YOU
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| my lovey... |
[04 Nov 2006|11:11pm] |
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mood |
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 grateful |
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makes my heart melt <3
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[31 Oct 2006|05:37am] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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afireinside |
] |
i fucked up
i stayed the night at my boyfriends house last night..
he woke me up all pissed off.
apparently i was dreaming about my ex and started saying his name all loud.
it sucks because i havent thought about my ex in forever.
its so random to have a fucking dream about him.
im just really sad that my lovey is sad.
i dont want him to think that im thinking about other guys.
NEVER!
chad is the only one for me <3
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| veggie |
[23 Oct 2006|08:59am] |
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for the past two weeks i have been looking into becoming a vegitarian. i have found a lot of information on the subject, and while i wasnt too sure at first, i have now decided that im going to try to do this. i have always been concerned about health and nutrition and i think that after reading about all of the health benefits of this diet, that this is right for me. i never really ate meat anyways. with just the few minor adjustments i have made in my diet in the past week, i have lost 6 lbs. i think this is the beginning of a new lifestyle for me.
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| fuck life... |
[05 Oct 2006|06:58am] |
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mood |
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fat : ( |
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music |
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chasing cars.. me and chads song <3 |
] |
i feel so gross. i barely ate anything yesterday and i gained a pound. i hate when that happens. i want to start fasting today but a my friend is having a potluck for her graduation party. hopefully i can stay strong.
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[04 Oct 2006|05:16pm] |
i wish i had her body
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| my lovey |
[04 Oct 2006|01:36am] |
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mood |
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 loved |
] |
when im with chad i feel like we have our own little world. i get lost in him. i dont really know how to explain it, but the look he gives me when i look him dead in the eye... this love has to be real. i have changed so much since ive met him, and im really likeing the person that im becoming. im starting to be more open and outgoing.. i feel like hes helping me grow up and really think about what i am doing with my life. i love that about him. he makes me think about things.. he really streches my mind. i havnt had many relationships. i always seem to get bored. but this guy makes me want to stay close with him every minute of every day. i usually like to keep my friends and my personal life separate. but chad is all i ever think and talk about. i had to have him meet my friends. they all adore him of course! i know it sounds kind of weird, but i think the reason im attracted to chad is because he is exactly like my dad. his morals, personality, interests... everything. he treats me the way i was taught a man should treat a woman. he makes me happy. i feel so comfortable and safe with him. the scary part is.. he feels the exact same way about me. it scares me because ive been in love.. but i have never felt it this intense before.. like.. what if this guy wants to spend the rest of his life with me? or what if he doesnt.... he already has my heart.
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| reality check |
[03 Oct 2006|05:10am] |
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i have only been with my boyfriend for a few months. i thought i knew who he was untill last night. he just went off into this deep ass conversation with me. i didnt know how to react it was weird. like ive never talked to him about things like that. i know this is kind of fucked up to say but.. i had no idea that he was so smart! i didnt even know how to respond to him. when he started asking me questions about my opinion on things, i kind of freaked out. i dont really think much about politics and the government and shit like that.. i guess i just felt like a dumbass when i didnt know what to say. i dont think that us having that conversation was bad though. he really made me think last night.. money really is what makes the world go round. i need to stop dicking around and get my life in check. i want to quit smoking and really get my shit together. finish going to school and start doing what i want to do. right now i feel like im too selfish. i need to stop spending all my money and start saving. i dont want to live at home forever! i want to start my own life. as soon as i get my lisence i will start my own business. im capable. i guess i just never really thought about actually doing anything on my own. yeah it may be difficult.. but its possible. i dont want to have to depend on a man to support me. i am my own woman and i need to be able to support myself. i wont get anywhere in life by just waiting for things to come to me.
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| sacred heart medical diet |
[02 Oct 2006|10:14am] |
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Sacred Heart Medical Diet
This 7-day eating plan can be used as often as you like. If correctly followed, it will clean out your system of impurities and give you a feeling of well-being. After only 7 days of this process, you will begin to feel lighter by at least 10 pounds and possibly 17 pounds, and experience an abundance of energy.
SOUP:
* 1 or 2 cans of stewed tomatoes
* 3 plus large green onions
* 1 large can of beef broth (no fat)
* 1 pkg. Lipton Soup mix (chicken noodle)
* 1 bunch of celery
* 2 cans green beans
* 2 lbs. Carrots
* 2 Green Peppers
Season with salt, pepper curry, parsley, if desired, or bouillon, hot or Worcestershire sauce. Cut veggies in small to medium pieces. Cover with water. Boil fast for 10 minutes. Reduce to simmer and continue to cook until veggies are tender.
This soup can be eaten anytime you are hungry during the week. Eat as much as you want, whenever you want. This soup will not add calories. The more you eat, the more you will lose. You may want to fill a thermos in the morning if you will be away during the day.
DRINKS:
* Unsweetened juices
* Tea (also herbal)
* Coffee
* Cranberry juice
* Skim milk
* Water, water, water
DAY ONE
Any fruit (except bananas). Cantaloupes and watermelon are lower in calories than most other fruits. Eat only soup and fruit today.
DAY TWO
All vegetables. Eat until you are stuffed with fresh raw, cooked or canned veggies. Try to eat green leafy veggies and stay away from dry beans, peas or corn. Eat veggies along with the soup. At dinnertime tonight reward yourself with a big baked potato and butter. Don't eat any fruits through today.
DAY THREE
Eat all the soup, fruit and veggies you want. Do not have a baked potato. If you have eaten as above for three days and not cheated, you should find that you have lost 5-7 pounds.
DAY FOUR
Bananas and skim milk: Eat at least 3 bananas and drink as much milk as you can today, along with the soup. Bananas are high in calories and carbohydrates, as is the milk but on this particular day, your body will need the potassium and carbs. Proteins and calcium to lessen the cravings for sweets.
DAY FIVE
Beef and tomatoes: you may have 10 to 20 ounces of beef and a can of tomatoes, or as many as 6 tomatoes on this day. Eat the soup at least once today.
DAY SIX
Beef and veggies, eat to your heart's content of the beef and veggies today. You can even have 2-3 steaks if you like with green leafy veggies but no baked potato. Be sure to eat the soup at least once today.
DAY SEVEN
Brown rice, unsweetened fruit juice and veggies, again, be sure to stuff yourself and eat the soup. You can add cooked veggies to your rice if you wish.
By the end of the 7th day, if you have not cheated on this diet, you should have lost 10 to 17 pounds. If you have lost more than 17 pounds, stay off the diet for two days before resuming the diet again.
This diet is fast. The secret lies within the principle that you will burn more calories than you take in. It will flush your system of impurities and give you a feeling of well-being. This diet does not lend itself to drinking any alcoholic beverages at any time. Because of the fat build-up in your system. Go off the diet at least 14 hours before any intake of alcohol.
Due to the variety of digestive systems in individuals, this diet will affect everyone differently. After day three, you will have more energy than when you began, if you do not cheat. After being on the diet for several days, you will find that your bowel movements have changed. Eat a cup of bran or fiber. Although you can have black coffee with this diet, you may find that you don't need caffeine after the third day.
The basic fat burning soup can be eaten anytime you feel hungry during the seven days. Eat as much as you wish. Remember the more you eat, the more you will lose. You can eat broiled, boiled or baked chicken instead of the beef. Absolutely no skin on the chicken. If you prefer, you can substitute broiled fish for the beef on only one of the beef days. You need the high protein in the beef for the other days.
Continue on the diet as long as you wish and feel the difference both mentally and physically.
DO NOT - DO NOT
No bread, alcohol, carbonated drinks (including diet drinks). Remember, absolutely no fried foods.
DO - DO - DO - DO
Drink plenty - at least 6 to 8 glasses - of water a day, as well as any combination of the following beverages: black coffee, unsweetened fruit drinks, cranberry juice and skim milk.
This diet comes from the Sacred Heart Memorial Hospital that is used for overweight heart patients in order to lose weight rapidly, usually prior to surgery.
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